蓝蓝的。。。

躺在蓝蓝的床，对着蓝蓝的荧幕，写着蓝蓝的心情。。。

怎么这几天的我总觉得什么都是蓝蓝的。。。

很讨厌这样的感觉！！！

很讨厌明明是不开心但还是得假装开心的我。。。

很讨厌被骂了但还是得挤出笑容假装没事的我。。。

很讨厌总是被心软打败的我。。。

很讨厌明明是在意但却装作若无其事的我。。。

很讨厌爱管闲事而最终却苦了自己的我。。。

很讨厌。。。很讨厌。。。这样的我！

这还是我吗？

那热爱自由和以快乐为人生目标的我迷路了吗？

I'm sick...

I'm SICK... HOMESICK... what kind of medicine can cure it?

I miss my home, family and friends in KL so much...

It had been long time I do not have this kind of feeling since I came to work in Singapore.

This feeling is really strong till I nearly bought a ticket and back KL again on Friday (29 Jan 10) after work.

Yes... It's AGAIN as I just back in Singapore from KL (after Hong Kong trip) on Wed (27 Jan 10) night.

This feeling become even more stronger after I had a chat with my dear mum.

My dear brother text me in the MSN... said... 'Hei, mum called u just now but u didn't answer the call. Please call back, k?'

'Why call me at this hour? It's already almost 12 mid night and normally I'll call back on Sat.' I'm thinking.

Then I just reply him 'Ok, I'll call back after I taking bath, k?'

In the end, I get a really surprised and touching phone call that I ever have.

'祝你生日快乐。。。Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you ~~~'

Honestly, at the time I heard this I'm thinking... What happen? Today is not my birthday!!!

'今天不是我的生日。你有没搞错？' I ask my mum.

‘今天是你的农历生日！你忘记了？’My mum told me.

Then I just realize... Every year of this day my mum will cook me 2 hard boiled eggs and mee sua...

But this year no eggs... no mee sua... and I had totally forget it...

But... my dear mum still remember it... and she sing me birthday song...

My tears almost dropped... the tears of happy, surprised and touching...

Mum, dad and brothers, I miss you all so much!!!

My dear friends in KL... I miss you guy so much too!!!

Looking forward to meet you all during the coming CNY!!!

13 days more to go...

The Days I Lost my Voice

Monday (10 Aug 09) 06:30...
"Ling, wake up?!" It's my dear mum wake me up.
Haih... it's Monday need to back Singapore...
"Ma... err... err..."
"Oopsss... what happen with my voice!" I was thinking.
Is it because still early, my voice still not "open"?

07:30 reached Pudu Raya bus station...
Boring... need to wait 2 hours as boarding time is at 09:30...
"Aunty... hmm... hmm... 2 pieces 'zhu chang fen'..."
"How come? My voice still like that?"
After taking breakfast... the only thing I can do is waiting...
Yes... It's 09:30... walk up to the coach and sleeepppp...

14:30 reach Singapore... reach home around 15:20...
Call my parents...
"Hello... hmm... hmm... I reached... hmm... Singapore ady..."
"Why your voice still like that? Have you drink the bottle of chrysanthemum tea."
"Yes... Mum... hmm... I... think... I lost... lost... hmm... my voice liao..."
"Mum... Ok... bye..."
Ok, it's confirm - I'm going to lose my voice!!!
The only thing I can do is drink more more and more water.

MSN messenger... I put my status as "Oh no, I lost my voice!"
A friend send me a message... "Lost voice? Tomorrow MC?"
"No... voice is not important for my job. I still can work without talking." I reply.
Yes, I believe I still can work without talking as I am a chemist not DJ.

But... what I had experienced on the next day had proved that I was wrong...
Next day, I just remember I need to discuss something with my big boss.
It's urgent so the only thing I can do is talk with him with my "the only left" voice!!!
Huhhh... at last I had finished explained to him.
Believe me... it's a hard time for me to 'talk properly' that day.
Till I knocked out, I tried not to talk as I know I'm totally lost my voice.
When we walked to the MRT Station, one of my collegue, Myla asked "Poh Lin, are you sick?"
I just can be quiet.
Luckily, Katherine answer her question "Yes, she lost her voice."
Then, Myla said "That's why she is so quiet today."
This... had proved that "voice is important to me as I like to talk".

Night, I went to doctor directly after work.
The doctor look so shocked when I 'told' him I lost my voice.
Yes, he is shocked as I just 'visit' him last few days but now my voice like this...
Conclusion is "I will on MC again on 12 Aug 09 due to lost voice!!!"

12 Aug 09, I wake up quite early in the morning (9.30am)...
It's so boring to stay at home without doing anything.
So in the end, I was working at home.
But... not just working only of cause... I was watching 烈火雄心 too... Haha...

Thanks God. After took the medicine thrice, at last I'm able to talk...
Voice, do you know I'm really miss you so much?!!
Everybody will think lost voice normally is due to sore throat right?
Actually this time I lost my voice is due to "phlegm"...
This little fellow stuck at my throat.
Even how hard I cough it's still stick at there then cause me... NO VOICE...
Pity Pauline!!!
Now... I'm able to talk again... talk... talk... talk... Haha... =)

31 months in Singapore

First month in Singapore...
"I won't stay over here that long. I'm sure I will back KL one day though I like this place."

Second month in Singapore...
"Miss home so much but happy to hang out with my collegue and friends. Travel around Singapore with a Singapore map and a bus guide in hands."

Third, forth, fifth... months in Singapore...
"Start to concentrate to work. No time to think properly my future. Just think to work hard."

1 years... 2 years... after 2 years and 7 months in Singapore...
Finally I'm thinking to settle down and think properly the direction of my life.
I found myself hang between Singapore and Malaysia in these 31 months.
This kind of feeling really make me feel uncomfortable and tired.
I told myself I must make a decision at least let myself to settle down for few years.
So... I decide to apply for Singapore PR and it's appoved on July 2009.

Now I can plan for my future...
1. Take a course to improve myself and be more competitive.
2. Change new working environment.
3. Travel around the world.
4. Learn investment

and more...

Go... Pauline... =)

OO... My first DSLR camera

After 2 years...

After seek opinion from lots of people...
After can't sleep well for 3 nights...

After can't concentrate to work for 4 days...

After think too much till dream about it...

At last... I had decided to invest my travel budget on her... "OO"...

Here it is my first DSLR camera... "OO"... Olympus E-620...

I had dreamed... thought... planned... to have a DSLR camera for almost 2 years since I worked in Singapore. I always think if I had a good camera... then I can take good quality picture... then I can catch all the good memory with my friends and family... At last, I had made up my mind to buy myself a DSLR camera... "OO"...

Do you believe till the day I bought the camera I not even know how to hold or switch on it?

It's quite funny right? Yes... I bought the camera but I dunno how to use it as it's totally different from the normal digital camera I used before. It's just like a man bought a car but don't know how to drive... haha...

After study the manual for a night, at last I know the basic skill to use a DSLR camera...

Thanks God, I got the chance to brush up my skill on the next day...

As we are going to Singapore Zoo on Saturday and Bird Park on Sunday...

My first shooting of a 100 Plus bottle

Yes... bardon... I can't hear you...

Planta Kaya Toast and Hot Milo at Ah Meng Cafe

Two quarrel birds

Lonely... I'm Mr Lonely...

Why look at me like that?

My 3 volunteer models...

Thanks Stella... for accompanying me to the PC fair for 2 days...
Thanks Katherine, Mary and Li Ting become my models for 2 days...
Thanks Jenn Wah and Sy Wei... for your opinion...
Thanks the animals in Bird Park and Singapore Zoo become my models...

Thought...

2009 is a wedding year?

Last weekend (29 May 09 - 01 Jun 09) went back KL to attend Wei Yin's wedding. If I didn't make mistake, this is the third wedding I had attended in year 2009. There will be one more on coming Wednesday (10 Jun 09) but this time will be in Singapore. Haha...

When I told my friends, landlord, boss I gotta back KL, their response was "Back KL again? How come you back KL so frequent?". Yes... I went back KL again 3 weeks after the Mother's Day. It's a big day for my dear best friend, Wei Yin. How could or how dare I missup this important day?

29 May 09, Friday I took coach at Beach Road after work. On the way back KL, I had sent out few messages to my friends. One of them was for her - "Hi, I'm on the way back KL now. C u 2molo 7pm! =)". 30 May 09, Saturday night was her wedding dinner. At last, we had met up and had a long long talk on that night after so many years. I still remember her touching expression when she saw me on that night. She told me... she was very happy received my message yesterday saying that i'm on the way back KL. Ooopss... for me it's just a simple message but I don't know it's so important for her. I'm so glad that I make a right decision to back KL even though had been frustrated keep answer the same question.

Wei Yin just like my big sister. We met each other during the trip to Pulau Langkawi in year 2000. Actually I met lots of new friends during the trip to Pulau Langkawi as we are joining my friend's sister graduated trip from SMP. Maybe we are younger than them so all of the SMP's big sisters take care of us a lots during the whole journey. However just 4 of us (Kek Yee, Wei Yin, Hueg Yin and me) were still keep in touch till now. Because of them... I spend my first time to stay and chat overnight in friend's house; Because of them... I spend my first time to go mamak during the midnight; Because of them, I realize that I can share my happy and soul with friends; Because of them, I realize that friendship is important to me... Seriously, I had learned lots from them and I'm happy to have soulmate like them as well.

Now... 2 of them are married and 1 of them is already a mother.

But... I believe our friendship will last forever.

Never judge a book by its cover

Never judge a book by its cover...
This idiom is very suitable to use for Susan Boyle, a 48 years old Scottish singer who came to international public attention in 2009 after she apperared as a contestant on Britain's Got Talent. Susan became known when she sang "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables in the competition's first round. However, in the final third series of the show, Boyle finished second place, behind dance troupe Diversity.

When she appeared on the Britain's Got Talent stage, the audience and the judges appeared apprehensive and judgmental of her unpolished appearance. When Boyle first appeared on Britain's Got Talent, she said that she aspired to become a musical theatre singer "as successful as" Elaine Paige. Almost all the audience laugh at her. However, upon finishing her song, she received a standing ovation from the live audience and unanimous praise from the judges.

"I know what they were thinking, but why should it matter as long as I can sing? It's not a beauty contest." by Susan Boyle. Yes, it's not a beauty contest but almost all person judge a person just by their appearance.

Below is the videa clip during her first audition in the Britain's Got Talent. It's a very touching video clip. My tears drop after finished watch it.